Thursday, December 07, 2006

Online Dating Top Tips for Success!

Alexis Rose has written Online Dating - Top Tips for Success! and writes "A few months ago I became single again after a long-term relationship, and decided to try out the phenomenon taking the world by storm that is online dating.

Online dating has grown hugely in popularity over the last few years. Type "online dating site" into Google today and you will get over 20 million hits!

There are thousands of sites around the world, ranging from specific 'niche' sites which are heavily targeted to a certain demographic (e.g. graduate professionals, people who work in film, or people who work in uniformed professions), through to more general sites such as DatingDirect, which has versions around the world, and over 2 million members in the UK alone.

When I tried it out, the results stunned me! I got over 200 messages in less than 3 weeks. But when I started reading the responses I was in for an even bigger surprise..

What I realized was that the huge majority of men writing to me just hadn't thought through what they were writing. I was by turns shocked, amused and disgusted by what I was reading. Of course, some of the messages were lovely! But there were an awful lot that I immediately deleted.

After a while I became intrigued by the particular "errors" that these guys were making. There seemed to be a lot of repetition. In this article I would like to touch upon one of my particular favourites, and its around the use of photographs.

The importance of using a photo cannot be overestimated. It's essential!!

What kind of message do you think not having a picture says? "I'm shy?" How about - "What have you got to hide?" How can you compete for attention when your profile is missing its vital ingredient?

So - first things first, you definitely need a photo.

Now, having agreed this, there are some simple rules you can follow to make sure you are giving yourself the best possible chance for success.

Here is my absolute number one top tip about photographs: Avoid webcams!

Ok, so you've decided you're going to do online dating. And you're maybe a bit embarrassed?maybe you want to keep it to yourself. This is not an excuse to use your webcam to take a photo of yourself. Firstly, they are deeply unflattering. The angle is wrong, they come out slightly distorted, the lighting is bad?I have yet to see a great profile shot done with a webcam. Oh - and they are also very obvious!

If you are internet-savvy enough to be doing online dating, you can get a digital photo of yourself. There are several ways to do this:

Use a photo from a digital camera. Upload it to your computer, or get a friend to and then email it to you.

If you haven't got access to a digital camera, you can use a disposable to take the picture, and then ask your local developer shop or pharmacy to develop the photos onto a CD for you.

Find a friend with a scanner, who can make a digital copy of an existing photo. Some Internet cafes also have a scanner you can use.

Be resourceful! A webcam photo is better than no photo at all?but a digital photo is worlds apart!!

It also needs to be recent. Putting up a ten-year-old photo will only catch you out later on! Do you want your prospective partner to walk right past you on date one? Don't be shy!

Most importantly - smile! A happy face will be far more appealing than you doing your best to look clever/tough/cool/sexy? Happy says confident!

I wish you every success in your online dating.

Alexis Rose is the author of 'Golden Keys for Online Dating Success', a manual for anyone interested in or already trying online dating. Discover how to seriously boost your chances of online dating success by following a simple set of rules, and learn the most common mistakes to avoid.

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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Online Dating Tips Creating Personal Ads

Rex Ryan has written Online Dating Tips Creating Personal Ads and says "Creating a personal ad for online dating services is not difficult, but how well you write your personal ads will often be the difference between success and failure in online dating. All the rules that apply to advertising in business still apply, and those who define and attract their target audience will be the successful ones. There are many critical items that will draw interest to your ad such as the headline, and how the ad appeals to the interest of the target audience. There are also factors that will determine how well your ad matches with potential mates; including how well you describe your values and how honestly you portray yourself. Writing a personal ad should involve some serious thought and soul searching, as well as some in your face marketing tactics.

Generally speaking, the most important part of any ad is the headline, and this can also be true for online personals. If your headline fails to sell your target audience, they will not read further. The first step in creating your online personal is to imagine your ideal mate. Now consider what your ideal mate is looking for - not what you are looking for. Headlines need to grab attention, but they also need to isolate the target audience, and get them to read further. The best way to do this is to present a catchy title that shows your potential partner why they should be interested in you..

References to sex and cute entendres are best avoided in online personals. While headlines do need to be eye-grabbing, they also need to isolate the type of partner you are looking for. Using sex or overselling personal looks can attract far too many random people that don't represent good mate candidates. Research other headlines, and copy those that demonstrate the benefits you offer to your ideal mate.

Describing yourself is a critical piece of developing your personal ad. Many people have very naïve impressions of how others see them. Rather than relying on what you think of yourself, it is recommended that you ask others to describe you. Ask friends, relatives, or even exes how they would describe you. Don't disregard their opinions just because they don't match with your own. If you discover that others describe you far differently than you see yourself, be prepared to accept that they are probably right. Correctly describing yourself requires soul searching - not just to formulate who you think you are - but rather to understand how others perceive you, and how this is consistent with whom you think you are. Perhaps the greatest mistake people make when describing themselves in online personals is failing to create a description that is consistent with the way they are perceived by others.

Describing what you're looking for in a mate is another central point of creating a solid personal. While you should rely on others' advice to describe yourself, you have a lot more insight into what specifically you are looking for. Try to paint a portrait so that somebody reading the ad will think, "Hey, that's me". Most importantly, be sure to include information on the values and beliefs you are looking for in a mate.

The use of pictures can be very important in online personals. Research by AOL suggests that online personals are 8 times more likely to be considered when a picture is present. Using a picture is definitely advised, and ideally a recent, accurate picture should be used. Many people are touchy about their looks, and the natural instinct is to put forward the most attractive picture. It is best to reserve this urge. Having a picture is very important, but an overtly flattering picture is likely to get things started off on the wrong foot as people will constantly be upset that you didn't fulfill their expectations from the picture. There is no way to hide physical appearance once you meet face to face. It is far better for daters to be presently surprised by appearances than displeased.

Writing an online personal ad can be a rewarding experience of personal discovery and creative energy. But accuracy, honesty and a sense of values are essential ingredients of successful ads.

Rex Ryan maintains the website:

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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Dating Tips from Hollywood

Yvonne Chase has written Dating Tips from Hollywood and writes "Halle Berry voted as one of the most beautiful women in the world is twice divorced, Britney Spears - today's pop princess is under thirty and on her second marriage, Brad and Jen - the showbiz couple of all time recently ended their first marriage of four years and Jennifer Lopez the multi-talented walking empire with a pretty face and most talked about booty is on her third marriage. How could this be? These people have all of the things that most of us look for in potential partners - money, power, success, beauty, glamour, fabulousness and celebrity. If they have it "all," why are they divorcing at a rate that none of us can keep up with? Because it takes more than bills, beauty and a booty to have a successful long-term relationship.

There are three key ingredients needed in order for a relationship to work:

Simply stated, a prerequisite is a must; it's a deal breaker. The relationship will not work if this is not present. There is no room for compromise. For example, either you want a child or you don't want a child. If you want to have a child and you are dating someone who doesn't want any children but you think you can convince this person to change their mind, quit while you are ahead and find someone who wants what you want. Here's how you test a prerequisite; ask yourself, "If everything else was wonderful in my relationship but my partner didn't want to ever have children, would the relationship work for me? If the answer is no, then it is a prerequisite. If the answer is yes, then it is probably a need that can be negotiated.Needs
Needs are those things within the relationship that can be negotiated. There is room for compromise. Kimberly needs to be alone when she comes home from work before being with her husband. She needs to unwind from the day by doing her yoga and stretching for at least 30 minutes. This is something that she can easily negotiate with her husband without affecting the quality of their relationship.

A want is the icing on the cake; those things that keep the relationship exciting like leaving little notes in the car for him or surprising her with a weekend getaway. Wants normally don't have to be negotiated and the relationship would still work for you if they were not present.
By learning all you can about yourself, potential partners and looking deeply at what really matters to you, your chances of choosing the right partner greatly increase. Make sure that your choices are in alignment with your Prerequisites, Needs and Wants. If these three items are missing, all the glamour, beauty, money, celebrity and great bodies in the world won't be enough to save the relationship. I wonder what will happen with the Zellweger Chesney marriage or Ben and Jen marriage? Want to speculate?

Remember to, "Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness and or misery." H. Jackson Brown - Life's Little Instruction Book

Something to think about...

Coach Yvonne Chase
The Single Woman's Cheerleader


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Monday, December 04, 2006

Dating Tips: How to Get Yourself A Date

Rick Valens has written Dating Tips: How to Get Yourself A Date and says "Well, if you didn't give that someone a bad impression of yourself, chances are, both of you would be already friends at least? A friend, not being dislike by him or her? Ok, now it's the time you can progress a little further, taking a little more actions. But before so, it might be good to take notes of the followings:

For Guys, please understand that girls enjoy the process of being pursued. You have got to play this game well. Take things at a step; let the rhythm flow gradually and smoothly. Let her enjoy the process; make her feel that very value that's within herself.

For girls, do note that guys generally like girls who are more gentle and caring. Don't be too fierce scaring the guys away. Likewise, don't always put on that cold swanky look. Guys are generally not very patient creatures. Not matter how beautiful you are, you will eventually just turn them off..

Always take things slowly. Do not just walk straight to her and tell her "I love you, can you please be my girlfriend?" and vice versa for girls. You would most probably just scare him or her off, be patient. Well perhaps starting off with a little simple request for help would be ideal? Ok, I know it may sounds like a very old boring tactics but believe me, it works! At least most of the times?

For example, a girl can take the excuse of learning to play the guitar from the guy. "Hey Rick, you know? I've always dream of learning to play the guitar, I was thinking it would be so cool if you can find some time to teach me?" Well, if the guy has got no bad impression of you, chances are he will say yes. Afterall, it won't really take up much of his time and it's something he himself is interested in.

The same works for guys. Hmm? perhaps a little request for help in learning of some sign language? "Hi Lynn, I know you are helping out at the Deaf Associations. Well, I just started on my basic sign language classes recently, just wondering whether you be free to help me with my revision?" Do you think she will reject you? I believe a kind-hearted girl like Lynn won't mind sparing a little time to help you.

Ha, hope the examples I quoted didn't sound too silly? But think about it, it's not really that hard to request for a little help from your friend. Would you reject your friends if they required your help instead? As long as it doesn't take up too much of your time and it's within your capability, I am sure you won't mind helping them out?

Ok, now let's assume both Rick & Lynn's answer is yes. Isn't that the beginning of a simple wonderful date? Some very personal time between both? Well, when there's a first time, a next time won't be hard to come by? Don't you see the possibility of a real date on its way? I am sure you can come out with better excuses, better ideas of your own. The rest is all up to you, if things are meant to be, love will sparkle off between both of you.


Rick Valens
Staff Writer
Love Relationship Discussion Forum

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Sunday, December 03, 2006

Meeting Other Singles By Doing Something You Love

Meeting Other Singles By Doing Something You Love was written by Rosemary Heenan and writes "Here's one the best ways I have found to meet other singles while enjoying what you would do anyway.

Create your own group to do something that you enjoy. Last summer we took up golf and were quickly hooked. What better way to get outdoors and enjoy the summer sun and also get exercise. Golf courses are usually very attractive, with lots of trees, some bodies of water, and just very nice places to spend summer days.

My friend and I decided to set up our own singles league this year. The course that we played at didn't have a heavy crowd on Friday nights and we were usually free then, so we booked the course..

During the few months before we began to play, my friend advertised in local papers and had others put up flyers at local businesses and factories. We asked everyone we knew who was single to join us and encouraged them to invite their other single friends.

We started off small and were pleased to find that we are attracting some really great people we might not have otherwise met.

Another way we attracted members was to go on Yahoo and and invite people we found interesting who stated golf as an interest.

The best part of this experience is that you are enjoying something you would do anyway. It's a natural way to be with people and there's absolutely no pressure to pair up. Golf is a great sport to get a sense of how people behave and react. Some seemed more competitive than others; some have a shorter fuse when their ball goes in the woods or sand traps. Others are just having fun and show up with big smiles and a positive attitude. Perhaps we wouldn't learn all this so quickly if we met at a dance or bar.

Another plus has been getting tips as we play from more seasoned players. Each week my golf game is improving and I am learning more about the game.

We also have moved beyond the game to having dinner and drinks after the game. We search new places to try each week and have enjoyed house parties once we knew each other well enough to feel safe and comfortable. Now we are branching out even more and going to concerts together. Everyone keeps an eye out for other events in our community that we could enjoy.

I've made new friends and some of the people are beginning to pair up and see each other outside the group. It's a great way to introduce other people you think might hit it off, without the stress of a one-on-one blind date.

Now there's always something to do on a Friday night and we are having fun. What better way to attract a partner than when you are relaxed and enjoying yourself.

Not a golfer? What do you enjoy that you form a group around? Euchre, bridge, tennis, volleyball, books? Don't stay home alone on Friday nights. Whatever your interest, there are others to meet and share that with.

Copyright 2005 Rosemary Heenan
About the Author:
Rosemary Heenan is a Certified Integrative Coach Professional. Her specialty is coaching successful, professional, mid-life women who are ready to add a relationship to their lives. Sign up for her free newsletter at

NOTE: You're welcome to reprint this article online as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the "about the author" info at the end)

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Saturday, December 02, 2006

Dating Tips that Work Which of the Three Types of Women Should You be Dating?

John Alanis has written Dating Tips that Work- Which of the Three Types of Women Should You be Dating? and writes "When most "dating gurus" and sex therapists spout their dating tips, they often complicate the whole process with unusable theory and psychobabble.

I'm going to bypass that, make it brain-dead simple for you, and most importantly, reveal a few dating tips you can apply in the real world. In these dating tips, I'm going to share with you the little-known concept of the "three types of women."

There's a wonderful book you should read called "Winning Through Intimidation" by Robert Ringer. You can get it on Amazon for a few bucks (get the original version published in the 1970's, not the new "touchy feely" one.) Many people are turned off by the title, thinking it's about "scaring" people into giving you what you want. That's not what it's about, though. It's actually about protecting yourself from intimidation. It's also a fun read, full of hilarious stories and even a few cartoons (of turtles wearing sunglasses). But it's a book each and everyone looking for dating tips needs to read, because the part I'm about to share with you absolutely applies to interacting successfully and effortlessly with sexy women..

In the book, Ringer talks about the three types of people in the business world- and in my experience he's 100% correct. Here they are.

Type #1- this is the guy who is out to get all your "chips" and lets you know about it. This guy is "straightforward" about his intentions, what some would call honest. Type #2 this is the guy who assures you he is not out to get your "chips", and in fact, tells you he wants you to get everything that is coming to you. Then he attempts to grab all your "chips" anyways.

Type #2's are the most treacherous type.

Type#3: this is the guy who assures you he is not out to get your chips, and sincerely means it, but by his bumbling, stumbling or just pure incompetence he winds up trying to take them anyways (even though he doesn't mean to). How do the "three types" translate into a usable dating tip?

And, how does all of this relate to success with attracting sexy women? Well, it's been my experience that women fall into, roughly, these three types as well.

Type #1: she's straightforward with you about her intentions? whether she's into "fun friends," or looking for a husband, she is forthright with you up front. She knows herself and what makes her happy.

Type #2: this is the woman who appears to be straightforward with you about what she wants? but for whatever reason, she's out to get your money, deliberately break your heart, or she's just pissed at all men -what a female friend of mine called a "cruel woman." Like the above type #2, the operative word here is "treacherous."

Type #3: this is the woman who truly believes herself when she tells you what she's looking for, but for whatever reason, bad things seem to happen around her? she "self sabotages" whenever things are going good, and winds up wreaking great emotional havoc on the men in her lives, even though she doesn't mean to. The result is still the same as dealing with a Type #2, though, and that's why it's vitally important you pay close attention to the above dating tips.

Obviously you want to spend your time with the Type #1's (in business and with women) and avoid the Type #2's. If you pay attention and listen for her, what I call, map/model of the world, you can usually identify the Type #2's. You'll hear things like "my last boyfriend was cheap, he wouldn't take me out or buy me things." Or, things like, "I drove by his house and a strange car was in the driveway? he was cheating on me." Here is a dating tip that will save you time, money, and heartache: when you hear things like this, run away FAST.

Type #3's can be more difficult to identify. It usually takes a lot longer, and you have to pay careful attention. Listen for things like, "It was going along so good, and I just don't know what happened." Type #3's are controlled by their "inner world," not in control of it. That's why I usually recommend starting any relationship as just "fun friends" so you can begin to get a clear picture of her map/model of the world and pinpoint her Type. A lot of what appear to be Type #1's in the beginning actually identify themselves as Type #3's later on down the line. You can never stop paying attention, or you will get in trouble. Dating tips like this one can be applied, and used day in and day out. Start paying attention to this, and watch just how true this is. It's the difference between happiness and misery!

John Alanis, "The King of Let 'em Come to You", is author of the "Women Approach You" system at
His blog is at

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Friday, December 01, 2006

Dating Tips : Five Steps to Creating Your Profile

Love2flirt has written Online Dating Tips - Five Steps to Creating Your Profile and writes "Creating your online dating profile is an aspect often commonly overlooked by online daters. You sign up for a dating service, forget about it, no-one contacts you and you give up. Why? You have not marketed yourself properly - so many daters fail even to post a picture!

Imagine if you are going out for a night out on the town - you make an effort, you wear your best clothes, you do your hair, you make an impression - this is what you need to do online.

Five things you should do to create a quality dating profile:

1. Post a Picture
This is the most important aspect of your dating profile. You have a far greater chance of someone contacting you if you have a picture. Just think if you saw a profile without a picture would you contact them? Most dating sites including our own at allow quick and easy upload of your photos..

Finally if you do decide to upload a photo (and who wouldn't) make sure it is of a reasonable standard, that is you are easily visible to the viewer. Poor quality, small or long distance photos can put potential prospects off.

2. Fill out your dating profile questionnaire
This is usually fairly simple and should not take more than a few minutes. Basic profile information such as height, hair colour etc.. should always be filled out. Remember not to lie - if you are serious about meeting someone it is always best to be honest from the beginning.

3. Write a Description of yourself
A brief description of yourself is an important element in your dating profile. When writing your description remember just be yourself. Tell them a bit about yourself, what you do for a living, what you are looking for, your personality and so on. Try to be positive about yourself and create a good impression.

4. Check your spelling
Probably the obvious one but even the best of use can get lazy when it comes to typing. It is very easy to make mistakes which a quick once over could eliminate. Double check all spelling and grammar, if possible with a spell checker. Remember it does not have to be perfect but major spelling errors should be avoided if possible.

5. More Tips
Once you have done all this it may be worth taking a look at what else you can do to make yourself stand out. Many online dating sites including our own allow you to upload multiple photos, audio and even video. Of course these are not essential but can help to make your profile stand out from the others.

We hope this has given you some general tips on creating your online dating profile and helped you to realize the very real importance of creating a good quality photo personal. Remember like the real world you are often competing with many others so make yourself standout and get yourself noticed.

This article was brought to you by For more tips on dating check out our advive pages at:

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